Sunday, July 10, 2011

We Should Build a Mountain

By Brain Wask

They should forget about building a tower at Ground Zero. It’s not going to say much besides we’re good at making buildings. That’s obvious if you look around.

They should make a mountain.

I’d like to see it from Midtown, like we used to see the Towers.

Downtown.

If they made a mountain we could climb it and grow trees on it. Even let animals live on it. Not bears. Maybe condors instead. They might like it here. They don’t have it so good where they live. When they eat they get too heavy to fly and that’s when they’re vulnerable to hunters. But we can hunt them here too. Somewhere around the Bowery. Just so they remember they’re condors.

Ultimately, I think there should be a river passing through the mountain. It doesn’t have to be right away.

Everybody wants to do things right away because they think the Earth was made in six days. I don’t think it was so I’m not in such a hurry.

Another tower is the obvious idea for a replacement. That’s why we’re making a tower. It will be a building. But a boring one with boring jobs and more fancy New York gastro pubs. Boring. We have enough of both in New York. A mountain would not be so boring, and it would be better for the environment. And it would look awesome from Midtown. All the tourists in Times Square could look up from the violent and sexual billboards and see the mountain.

I think a mountain would secure more jobs as well, and a whole new way of doing things in New York, maybe even the Sates.

I feel like most of the United Sates would like to see New York City sink. Some would like to see it bombed. I don’t think any Liberals would like to see it bombed, but I do think there is a small fraction of Conservatives that do (Maybe a big one, you tell me). They believe in the John Birch Society and follow Glenn Beck. And he’s a nut. I don’t think his crying is anything but self-indulgent. He’s also a fool and I’m pretty sure he’s knows it.

Imagine you could see the mountain from Brooklyn and Jersey City. That would make an interesting skyline. There would be no other like it.

If it’s possible we should do it.

The greatest accomplishments remain after the chaos has settled.

Some people believe life is better when stability prevails.

Conflict is good.

Structure is not as good.

Violence applies to both.

The mountain could also be used to collect water, or maybe energy. I’m sure mountains benefit people more than buildings. It would take just as many people to build a mountain than it would a building, so no loss on jobs there. The cost of maintaining the mountain would be covered by tourism revenue. There is really no reason why we shouldn’t make a mountain except we can’t.

Somebody built an archipelago in Dubai.

People could argue there will be more mosquitoes and more rodents because of the mountain. But I don’t have anything to say about that.

Kids growing up in the city would be better off with a mountain around. Because it’s a city doesn’t mean it can’t have a mountain in it. It didn’t always have buildings. The island was mostly beavers at some point.

The idea mountains don’t belong in Manhattan is limited.

Limited is simple.

Maybe New York City is Limited.

I don’t care.

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