Thursday, September 22, 2011

Reviews: The Bible- Part 1

The Bible is one of the best bunch of stories. It’s a great book. And it has a lot of amazing messages. It is also popular. I think everyone should read the Bible. I wish it was more popular. I think people forgot about the Bible. And now they like the koran. All my friends want to read the koran instead of the Bible. I don’t know.

How I read the Bible was in bed. At night with my pillow. My pillow is the oldest thing I have. The Bible is the oldest thing people have. It is even older than fire. The wheel isn’t even older than fire. That shows how old the Bible is. It is very old. Older than Jesus even because it was written about him after he was dead. Wait it was actually written before him. It was written by Jews. I just read that now after I already starting writing this. I’m happy I read that because now I know. Jews are older than the Bible. I don't have to feel bad for them anymore.

The Bible starts out in Eden with a man and then a woman comes over. I think this is a good beginning because when you are born a man and a woman are there. But that is the oldest part of the bible. It doesn’t mention dinosaurs. I read a lot about Abraham. He was always yelling I think and his wife. And his kids. God told him to yell at them when he was 99.

Abraham was always hearing things from God. No matter what you can think about God told Abraham exactly what to do. Even at night when he wasn’t working. God would tell Abraham “Obey me” and “I will shield you from danger and give you a reward” and even “Go back to her an be her slave.” Abraham never understand what God tells him but he likes God because God talks to him when no one else does. That’s why Abraham talks to God.

Slaves were a mistake because in the Bible it says people should only be slaves for 6 years and then they should be released when in Africa slaves were forced to work for all the time. And when the owner lets the slave go he is supposed to give the slave everything he has been blessed with by God. Even though he was the slave. This makes the six years as a slave okay. But if the slave does something wrong the slave owner does not have to tell him. Then when the slave tries to leave the slave owner can say I never told you but I don’t have to give you all my stuff because you talked too loud during sunset on Friday.

If you are thinking of reading the Bible you have to. It will be good for your friends.

In it the book gets long but is never finished. In real life people who read the Bible like everything about it. Even the part when the baby is cut in half and then the whole town is burned up because of all the men dancing together. That was the part that made me think the Bible can’t be totally real because that was badder than anything in the koran. Because the Bible is supposed to be better than the koran.

I don’t know. The cross is pretty awesome.

(This review was posted for 37 minutes before it disappeared. Perhaps there is a God. I understand why this review is wrong but I didn't think Bible-reading folks would. I guess that makes me fascist. That makes me feel bad. Now I have to feel bad. That doesn't sound so bad.)