Obama Threatens Little Children Cause He’s So Mean

(Obama gave a speech to students today. It was supposed to be about education and Jesus. As transcribed by Christ Liberty Review and Journal)

Barak HUSSEIN Obama (president and non-citizen): Hello everyone, especially black kids– how’s everybody doing? I’m here to turn the children of Wakefield High School in Arlington, Virginia into commies. And we’ve got students turning into commies all across America, kindergarten through twelfth grade. It's the coolest. But seriously, I’m glad you all could join us today. Hopefully by the time I’m done here I will have convinced you all that a socialist healthcare system is better than a capitalist one. (It was at this moment Oboma dabbed his perspiring forehead with a commie red hanky.)

I know that for many of you, today is the first day of school. That can be pretty scary for all you kids with icky diseases. That’s why my socialist healthcare plan can help you. And for those of you in kindergarten, or starting middle or high school, it’s your first day in a new school, so it’s understandable if you’re a little nervous. These will be some of the scariest times of your life coming up. Sexual diseases. Bad hangovers. Unwanted pregnancies. I’m hip to these things. Word up. You should be. I imagine there are some seniors out there who are feeling pretty good right now, with just one more year to go. Go ahead, wave ya hands in the air. Alright. Well you shouldn’t. Not with all the jobs gone and no money left for anyone. You can blame that shit on Little Bush. It’s true. (He winked as though he knows it not true but that’s what socialist democrats say so he going to say it too cause he’s really just another commie politician.) And no matter what grade you’re in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer, and you could’ve stayed in bed just a little longer this morning. For sure you guys who woke up next to a pretty little skirt.

I know that feeling. When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and that’s where I learned how to do cocaine and smoke cigarettes. My mother didn’t have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school so me and my al Queda buddies pimped her out on the street, Monday through Friday – until 4:30 in the morning. So I know some of you are still adjusting to being back at school. But I’m here today because I have something important to discuss with you. I’m here because I want to talk with you about your education and what’s expected of all of you in this new school year and if congress doesn’t pass my healthcare reform then there wont be much hope for any of you. Certainly not for the ones with acne.

(A large portion of what Obama said is Godless and unprintable in this journal. But he went on…)

… You’ll need socialist healthcare to cure diseases like mental illness and AIDS, and to develop new evolution theories and lie about the environment. God can’t do this anymore. He is dead. You’ll need the insights and critical thinking skills you gain in black-history classes and SOCIAL STUDIES to fight poverty and homelessness, crime and discrimination, and make our nation more socialist and more free healthcare. You’ll need the creativity and ingenuity you develop in all your classes to build new federalized companies that will create new union jobs and boost the government’s wallet.

… Your families, your teachers, and I are doing everything we can to make sure someday you also have the socialist education you need to answer these questions. I’m working hard to fix up your classrooms and get you more pornographic books, like “Tropic of Cancer” and “Catcher in the Rye”, and equipment and computers you need to learn about Karl Marx and Friedrich Engel and their Communist Manifesto. Yes, look it up. But you’ve got to do your part too. Stop hunting and driving trucks. So I expect you to get serious this year. I expect you to put your best effort into everything you do. Especially socialized healthcare. I expect great things from each of you. So don’t let us down – don’t let your family or your country or yourself down. I have a feeling most of you will.

Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America. (Note here Obama had his fingers crossed behind his back.)

9/8/09