Thursday, March 18, 2010

Brian Wask: Socialist Rant Contest Winner (The Red Collective Quarterly, March/2010)

Rant– n1: a loud bombastic declamation expressed with strong emotion. n2: pompous or pretentious talk or writing. v: talk in a noisy, excited declamatory manner.

If Socialism is behind the wheel feel free to remove your seat belt, kick off your shoes and prop your feet on the dashboard. Let him know if you need a bathroom break or a quick bite. He will oblige. If Capitalism is driving, buckle up and brace yourself, he will quickly dominate the conversation and the itinerary. Voting on a town to visit and a place to eat is possible, but if Capitalism is paying, Democracy becomes a smoke screen for wealthier interests.

Democracy is a socialist idea, it’s about time everyone understands this. One man, one vote. Its natural counterpart would be egalitarian. The idea Democracy is connected to Capitalism is a fake, a conspiracy, like religion and text books. Are we really so limited, propaganda from the fifties still gets to us? Capitalism is best. It means freedom. It’s the American way. When? What? For who? It failed big time all over the world and just recently here. Now it’s time for all the socialists to stop feeling horrible, stand up and say I told you so. Democracy told you so. Capitalism tried to tell you so but it lied. Continued to lie. And then it showed up at school with no pants on. We’re not Russians. It wont be so bad. Don’t be afraid. This is just the basics.

Traditional communism is not good. That’s what we’re afraid of. The Red Scare. Cuba is not Socialist. It’s a dictatorship, despite what Castro and the Miami opposition insists. If you believe a dictator and the neo-Capitalists in South Florida, then go on believing Cuba is Socialist and turn the page. The USSR was not Socialist. It imperialized at least a dozen nations and held them down for almost a century, while the power players profited during the world’s greatest prosperity. That’s the opposite of socialism. There’s the learning curve. Thank the good earth these misguided places did it first. It makes sense according to the founding fathers. No way would they tolerate men with Boca Raton tans deciding who owns what piece of land. Or Goldman Sachs convincing Congress to allow bankers to control a democratic government of the people, by the people. In the 1970’s one president was brave enough to tell Americans the real threat– the greed, the need, the me first addiction. It’s up to you to figure out which one. Hint, he failed too. Lift the rug and see what’s been swept beneath. Sooner or later people move and the furniture has to go. All the crumbs left behind must be dealt with and digested, otherwise they will attract rats. Rats compete, they don’t share.

Run down the essence of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. They sound egalitarian more than profit/power driven. Equality and natural rights. Natural rights are not founded by a specific God either. Arts and Science are expressed more than religion and profit, which easily translates to other than the norm. For anyone to equate the meaning of independence (natural rights) and power (natural selection) they must be over-occupied by their own image in the mirror at the gym. One of the ‘naturals’ is evil. The wrong choice will be forgiven but it must be confronted. Remember Teddy Roosevelt’s big stick. We will spare them of that, for now. We will not even kill their children though we fear the mentality they rapidly breed. Instead, we will educate them. And they will learn to be better than where they came. The reckless opinions previous generations excepted, the death we allowed, harm we imposed, now the good we postponed will reign again and the dreams of the past will wake up. The silly nightmare is over. It was only a pile of drool to begin with. Unlearning as an adult is harder than learning for the first time. There’s the conflict. Lucky for me I never learned to begin with. I know I’m not alone. The reality is, despite your accomplishments, if you believe what your fifth grade teacher told you there’s not much of a chance what you think still makes sense, and progress will remain digressive while TV continues to educate people. Even the Bible people knew this. Only Big Government can face off with Big Corporation. Or else Big Corporation will swallow Little Government.

Airlines are the perfect example of Capitalism gone wrong. (If you request more examples I will provide them.) Going through the airport is normally convenient. They even have machines that spit out your tickets. Thank you. Going through security is pleasant, as long as you know the drill. Pull out your belt, slip off your shoes, fold your coat. Don’t bring your own shampoo cause you know they’ll catch you. I tried. My fault. The hassles feel exaggerated when you get to the gate. Then the real problems start. The airline reps appear bored, defensive and authoritative. The planes are late and flight attendants treat you like you’re on your way to Saint Peter, cash your complaints with him. Some are hospitable, okay, but how often are they enthusiastic about helping passengers. I’m not old and I remember when Capitalism worked. It doesn’t anymore and short flights to Boston prove that. In fact, most terrorist’s scares today are because someone got pissed at a flight attendant, not because of Western policies in the Middle East.

Even I don’t feel comfortable standing up for Socialism, but damn me if I stand for Capitalism. Damn you too. Stand up for Democracy. One man one vote. All votes are equal, not matter your worth, your land, your accomplishments. Don’t sweat Venezuela or the USSR or Cuba. That’s not The United States. We should give healthcare away. We should do our best to help children with parents who can’t. We should support seniors, veterans, the disabled, families temporarily struggling who need it. What good is anything else? What good is the moon or Mars? What difference does oil from the sea mean if a child is hungry? What? If you drive an expensive car you should be ashamed. But shame is good, it means you have a soul and something in your soul doesn’t feel right. Now sell your car and by a tent and a good sleeping bag. Don’t be cheap. You’re going to need it. The stars will look amazing at night. I promise.

This is just the beginning of a very sophisticated argument. If you object I welcome your options. Don’t rely on a Texas text book to help you. Reality is available and an argument against it is a waste of time. Again, like all other righteous fights, this as well will prevail. The details of course are evolving, but the certainties are obvious. Capitalism is dead. The propaganda is exposed. It was a long time ago when it first appeared in black and white, in its earliest forms– imperialism, repression, exploitation, slavery. We’re not in the dark ages, those who choose not to be. The evidence is out there, everywhere. I urge you to care. Find it. Read it. Get with it. Otherwise stay out of it because there is no way you can stop it.

Brian Wask is the founder of Tire Swing Press and remains a regular contributor, despite the unpaid staff's vote to impeach him. Check out his books and music at


Anonymous said...

Ahhh, hogwash. Capitalism breeds competition. And competition is good. It brings the cream to the top. It creates jobs. Alters the status quo. Socialism would be wonderful if humans were robots. Do you think a socialist government would operate fairly? There are plenty of capitalists who operate their finances in a socialist manner. That’s what we need more of. MC

Unknown said...

That's my point. Instead of encouraging Capitalists to act like Capitalists, we should encourage them to act like Socialists. But you can't forcefully encourage someone. That's why the cream on top is dirt and selfish. So you have to regulate Capitalists. Watch them like you do sex offenders. Maybe. That was a rant. Not an argument. I can make one of those too.